When Your Brain Doesn’t Communicate Properly Anymore.
We have seen and learned alot but the main thing being my brain doesn’t communicate properly anymore and for those dealing with it they understand and for those that don’t hopefully I can give you some insight as we go, and sadly rather then becoming more stupid and noticing less, I get to keep intelligence the longest and am noticing every OCD detail of every event that isn’t perfect thus driving myself insane with perfection that never existed or have I ever attempted reach, however with certain portions of my brain no longer talking getting to resolutions and understanding takes way longer as we need to walk around the garden of fuck to get to the straight and narrow, changed to a smaller bong to save me 2 hours of cleaning as spotless is an understatement as well.
Now that I have blurbed all that out let’s walk back a few years shall we to when the subtle loss of communication began it was around the time everyone was making fun of me for improvising words making them up in alot of cases, and since most laughed I left it at that as nobody seen what was really going on including me, I was very busy running somethings then business and coaching so being forgetful made sense the troubles were when I slowed down and didn’t have so much on my brain and things were no better but in fact worse and the slower it made me the slower I got and the faster it took control and I have tried fighting this cunt but there is no fighting at this point just living the best life I can and more trying to understand how this disconnect of brain chatter happens and when there a lot just how silent your head does get like mine now more then ever. What causes this you ask, well from what we have seen out of Boston University yes a Canadian using American research since ours are ABSOLUTELY FUCKING USELESS to the point The Concussion Legacy Foundation doesn’t do a fucking thing here, that rant done it’s the only research available and truly Anne McKee is the best in the field currently working her ass off trying to figure out the puzzle of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy and with so many similarities to Dementia and Alzheimers you would think things would move fast and we could utilize some of the diagnostics but this simply isn’t the case and since there is no diagnosis until post mortem getting familiar with just how the lights dim may help alot of others and is the hope that we can help make the rest of life good but to know how you begin to forget and lose shit long before it becomes a thing had I been more aware I may have saved 3 years however things were meant to be the way they happened with anger and losing more keys then I care to remember but the main thing was not being me which the vast majority agreed, sadly however they all fucking sat back and watched and some were even shocked when our relationship ended but to deal with this on your own takes it out of you, from quitting a job I loved to moving to find acceptance but when I couldn’t understand nor know me anymore how could I ask others to?
The damage to my brain encompasses the frontal, frontal temporal lobes mainly as I took alot of head shots probably the most severe was the 20 or 30 stairs I flew down only hitting the bottom one with my face before bouncing through the wall and not wanting to stay down and actually fighting the cops later at the hospital all beat up and still wanting more, and during the vast majority of time things were set in motion and my Synapses had been building plaque for along time due to slaps, punches, falls, kicks, all to various portions of my head and this is the what they say is now the worst as opposed to previously thought concussions being the culprit since the swinging and stretching and partial breaking results in Tau and Amyloid Plaques building and eventually silencing the thought and action process and putting some of us into a dementia state with a bunch of other fun bullshit way to young which generally indicates we won’t make 60 and most don’t make 50 with all of their dogs barking, and being 46 and 47 in a few months this bullshit has my attention since life expectancy was 51. So you decide am I crazy and full of shit like some say or are we making some headway in this disease and the others that come with it stay tuned to find out I guess. Thank you for following along and remember live @2pm Eastern have a great day.