The Week That It Was
Well this week proved to be one of the beat and most productive in a long time it seen some little setbacks but truly nothing to slow the momentum of the steam we have picked up in the last little while, I mean fuck how do you beat getting the fuck out of the house? You honestly can’t unless your doing it again this week as I am and yes some think this is no big deal but those following my bullshit know just how fucking hard this has been. The setback that I did have was in keeping up with walking the dog now I can take half the blame and the weather the rest since it just hasn’t been great walking weather with the rain and such and looking ahead at the weather coming this week isn’t looking any better really but we will take it each day at a time and I am going to try and utilize any breaks in the weather to get out of the house and stay used to it since we are now planning some more things for November to again keep building on this momentum through the winter as again most recall well I do anyway just how isolated I did become and the thing was I was relying on fake, phony fucks at the time who weren’t really there and this to could be what is feeding this fire in me to push and get out, to say you know what fuck you cunts I really didn’t need you after all and this feels fantastic as I am using this as a positive as opposed to again beginning to wallow and cry the blues only hurting myself which we again seen, yes I am still terrified for this winter hence my droning on about it but this one is going to be better as I have a little community of folks that take sometime out of their day to read my shit and can generally understand I hope and relate there is a lot of unsaid things in this group as well, and using these blogs to explain and vent some as opposed to drama and bullshitty type things I again am better off. This has been one of the toughest fucking years of my life especially with this cocksucker of a disease smashing my nuts every step of the way but here I am standing tall as fuck chin down hands up and going to fuck this winter up unlike last winter getting my ass kicked, but I mean reality is if I don’t win this year will be my last but it wont be from sitting the fuck down and taking it up the ass as this happened last year. We are armed with a few more little things this year and the biggest also is the routine and patterns we are far more aware and we have a lot more to treat what ails on me some days which again is a huge step up, again crediting Chaga and Raw Honey as 2 of the biggest in helping fight the inflammation in my brain and in the older parts of my body that haven’t really hurt in this damp weather it was all about the build up, see another thing I talked more about last year then this one playing a huge part in the way things are going for me at this point and I couldn’t be happier.
We have come so far in the last little while and I couldn’t be happier with the picture I chose for the profile one in this story I was in a vehicle away from the house and property both excited and scared of the big old world and I seen our town for the first time in a year, imagine not even knowing the layout of your town other then google maps this is no life for anyone so we took down a huge barrier this week and I am riding high but not to high as that to is bad for me, I am proud of my achievements however it has now lit a huge fire under my ass to get the out and going live life see shit, fuck maybe really get a job that I can handle and at this point I don’t see one other then what I create for myself, which as some know I was going in a direction for home employment that although felt right at the time this week I decided this wasn’t what I saw myself doing at all, and since this week also saw me begin to use voice controls on my phone something that I didn’t think would happen, but ,my spelling is worse at this point then my speaking so to write a book which will begin November 1st as we again decided this week I can now do it much easier with less fuck ups and distractions. See the positives this week are immense and not sure I even remember them all since it seems to just take off one after the other and I also know that the this new motivation has hit and the need almost to get out and doing things has me chomping at the bit and I was going to add an outing today but I don’t want to over do it since we do have bigger plans for this coming weekend, we felt it better to get through this next one as it involves peopling and is way more involved which may bring many other problems as the week goes so one thing at a time and we are looking ahead this time though as I feel this one will go well as I am equipped for it and focused, our next outing will include a couple km hike if all goes well so no people and the dogs will be tired as hell so it will be yet another win for us against this fucking disease, but first things first right?
There were so many steps forward this week I can’t speak to all of them as I don’t remember them since they came in so quickly, it has taken along time to reap the rewards and although my memory sucks still I am rejoicing that everything else is going much better then I could have expected and I have also been seeing my memories on facebook and this time last year and the year before were really bad times much worse then what I am having this year, so we are winning and I see it so this week has been the paycheck if you will that we have been waiting for, to show our progress and that things although not easy are worth it as I eat good, my weight has only bounced the normal 10 pounds and I know most on medications see bigger in the first year and either way loss or gain so we are doing good I suffer no side effects, sundowning issues are less yes less not gone but less, I laid down for a half hour this week not a full nap just a time out in the 2 weeks since I stopped having them again a push forward. This week seems more promising again pushing on the momentum of last week. Have a great day all this is number 2 this morning something I haven’t done like this in a long time, see you all tomorrow and thank you for following along.