This stance of mine is nothing new and comes from a lot of trial an error this is the toughest part of doing things the way I have chosen to and it really does eat up a lot of time and life that I don’t truly have but my time is better served not eating pills just because that’s the status quo after all isn’t it? I lose more then I win in this case as I am sure most in my position do, since there is no real studies out there I am pulling shit from thin air double checking, cross reference and checking, this is never ending as I don’t take this as light as maybe some may think and my brain is full of more experiments I am going to do but the first is coming sooner then later. See the end game here is to get back to work which hasn’t been the easiest for many reasons and I have began to push harder since in our society people are losers, wastes, less then, and not good enough if we don’t work so this is a must and has been since the introduction of Psychedelics there is benefit in them I just have to figure out how to maintain a proper and beneficial dose and since wet has given me the best example and shown me that I don’t get the “high” anymore like I used to it is much more sedative and truly lackluster and almost feels as though my brain is way to over loaded to even begin to process a thing and I am forced to lay and close my eyes which isn’t that bad its just not the high dose bang that I have been looking for or is it really is where I am this morning well I am in a horrible fucking place to be truthful which is not what I was expecting, but as you see things happen and not always the way we would like, I mean fuck look at my life did I want to become a burdenous, lazy, useless fuck, with nothing left to offer the world but some hear say on some shit, no this in fact is not how I wanted life to go and now I must get some semblance of that back I am angry it had to go. This place for me this morning is a dangerous one and one where a lot of bad things can happen in a short amount of time under the right circumstances that is and this is the total opposite of how I wanted to wake up to and much different from how I have in the past as well. It doesn’t ever cease to amaze me all the talk of people accepting and understanding of people that are different, and although this sounds pretty it like everything else is a lot of bullshit and hot air and how do I know this you ask? Well lets look shall we people are judged for working to much not enough, making to much money someone broke as fuck, someone who has a lot and someone who has nothing, see there is a certain level we are to be at and heavens no don’t be on the government check which I am not however again some say I should and most call me a drug addict welfare case so again humanity is possibly the most fucked up but I know when I worked I had a life a sense of belonging and a sense of pride which now mean nothing since well I am not that same man and it is shown in the way things have gone this is for sure and I don’t know how to be any other way, and I also don’t appreciate the feeling of being less then because I am certain I work as hard or harder in a day then most, however my battle doesn’t pay the bills just causes more issues, and I mean am I just fighting a losing battle anyway? Should I not give up my way, seems to be a more accepting way that’s for fucking sure. I hope this pissy mood is short lived and things can get back to as normal as can be as I am not into this today at all and want to be happy go lucky and carefree, is this merely a side effect if you will of high dosing shrooms and simply overloading my senses and now I am in a crash lots of reading to do in this area and simply to just understand more why this has happened but I do think I am onto something, or it could be the chemicals in my brain either way it was brought on high dosing, so for those wanna be medicinal fools for weed yes the same holds true smaller not micro for weed since that is just a silly concept for these millennial whackadoodles, since there is no benefit to it if this is what you want to do get a fucking tincture easy not micro dose weed, now psychedelics is different the chemical compound and areas of the brain affected are easily mapped out in an MRI and or Pet Scan setting and long lasting which is what I was feeling in the initial trial doses which far exceeded last nights initial dose which was raised after 30 minutes of nothingness to a grand total of 6 grams of mushrooms eaten, now most normal people are fucking going insane at 2.5- 3.5g I was and have been double this sometimes close to tripling this dose and not even getting stoned! This was a tell tale that something wasn’t working right but with the little amount we dabbled in a long term micro dose wasn’t in the cards which I think on my part was a mistake but in my defense I wanted and continue to want to see the highest dose possible for the best benefits and now I am of the theory the best dose for shrooms and me is going to be a trial of .1-.4g starting daily and going from there, my days of having fun and high dosing are over this has been proven in the past little while, and what I have also done is shown that gluttony exists in even me when searching for the treatment I wanted it gone immediately and needed to softly slap this fucker, slowly and underwhelmingly change the way my brain fires and which areas needed on which days is becoming easier to deal with since trialing there has been a noticeable change in the amount of sucker punches or pains in my temporal lobes, as some used to see I would wince a lot during lives due to the sudden and out of no where shots in the head I would get and although not gone and when they do come they hurt they don’t come as often, my pre frontal cortex and frontal lobes have also been lessened but not as much as the others as of yet but less is always better isn’t it? Yes and this holds true to weed and anything natural as well, see huge and plentiful dabs, bong rips, pipe loads, are all fun and I am sure somewhere have some medicinal value to them however until you do what the fuck I am you truly understand nothing about the proper and healing values of these 2 things and combined in the right amounts the sky is the limit and we are almost there this I am certain of, but today is a tough slap in the face of reality don’t get on my high horse thinking I got shit figured out because just like today I can wake up with the rug pulled out at anytime and this shit sucks dirty ass, since the last few times I woke up tired and unenergetic but today is bad and I am over smoking to correct myself and it works why you ask? I use medicinally and I study my shit I don’t willy nilly what I take and if you follow long enough maybe something I do will work for you as well remember this is my way and will not work the same for you this is certain. Thank you to all of you for following along and lesson learned this is for sure, time to get seriouser about my the way I handle things, have a great day all and a safe weekend see you all Monday live and the week in review will be out tomorrow since this was to be it and well we see how shit changes, be safe!