Forever Changing Things.
The last little bit has seen me get bored doing what I am and this has made doing anything tougher then tough, my lives aren’t what I want the community that I would like to see simply isn’t coming together the same as I have seen so many others and well I have no one to blame but me this is simple and easy to fix and began today. The first thing I have done is open the group up a little bit now it can be found and people can ask to join they can see but not participate in the lives unless they ask to join but allows us to grow in members which I feel is important, for those that have never done lives and even those that do having an audience means the difference and yes I know these are for our education as well its nice to speak to people live and answer questions and such so time to grow a little this is going to be different as again nothing leaves the group as far as lives go and we see after the next 6 months or so how things are and my hope is things are a little bigger and more interactive. I will put things into perspective for those new and not following along, most people have a social circle, family, friends, and in some cases a job, basically a life I don’t and yes this in part is my doing however this is where I am so having some sort of online community especially those that truly understand any or all of the shit we deal with then my life is now better and I get most dealing with this don’t talk a lot and I am over whelmed most days and don’t always reply then I forget who has messaged me and it becomes a cluster fuck at times so I am also scaling back where we post and how many platforms we do to put more focus in the proper places where the message is getting out, what message you ask? Well the one about not having to be a pro to have this miserable fucking disease and that there is also more then the big pharma way I also know I sound like a fucking lunatic half the time but whatever I know my brain hates me and I hate the fuck out of it to, I also hate that I have been stuck in the house and this to is coming to a fucking end sooner then later life is to short for this anxiety shit and well lets say I have its fucking number now to so its on to living and seeing things not sitting back talking shit about days gone by. We have been asked and have talked about getting cameras to record me 24/7 and we would then edit and upload days of our lives so to speak and how things hit me and how quickly I forget and how it all affects everyone and a candid look inside our house. Although this is a scary endeavor I think it should be done not only for others but for us more so since we can see the triggers and the conversations I have with myself as I have plenty of them during the day that no one else is privy to and I can never remember what I was going to tell Michelle when she gets home and now I will be able to.
I really do enjoy doing what I am and want to continue and will continue doing this since either way a message needs to get out and one needs to be here for us to see whether we are doing things better or not and from there we know what to keep and what to get rid of and thus far it is working as well as expected, to the point that I found a video yesterday that neither of us remembered me making nor where I got all the pictures from and it wasn’t that awful long ago either. I keep forgetting that in life things need to ever evolve and I get stuck in these ruts and it usually takes an explosion of some sort to get me to change things, however this morning I made up my mind that it is now time to switch things find this middle ground because as we seen last time I went to far the one way now I came back way to far so lets hope we can make a half shuffle back toward the middle and find that bubble as that truly would be nice. This is not meant to be a slight to those we have had for along time and the new folks I just require some more new folks as again we are finding the less we know the folks in the groups and such the less drama and bullshit we have and this is worth its weight in gold, and I know there is a middle ground there somewhere just have to find it.
The next things we are going out again soon and I am actually chomping at the bit currently to get out and see the world again we have been playing with 2 trips as of late and although we aren’t sure which one yet we will be doing one next year this is a for sure, which makes me want to finish the store and get it going. This week has seen a decline in my motivation and well after my little break yesterday taking time to trip and think about what I want to do and well hang on and lets see as I woke up slower then normal however it was day 2 without a nap and the pre live blog is now done and breakfast will be up next and its raining today and I am in a good mood which is also odd for these days, however I will take it that is for sure. Thank you to all that are following along and taking time to like and comment on our posts, please share with anyone you think could benefit from what we are doing. Have a great day all see live soon.