All to often I find myself ranting and raving about what this disease is taking away from instead of countering things with the good that I have also been given and again here is where some may think I am crazy however I am ok with this theory. Life before this was busy,chaotic, almost feeling as though I were a puppy chasing my tail never able to relax and enjoy anything no matter the scenery, the company, none of this mattered I was on a mission to be the best whatever I was in the world always around beauty and amazing people just never letting my feet hit the ground long enough to breath and enjoy the situation I was in and the chance I was given to be there. Although I have been more then sat on my since this shit has really began to take over I have had the opportunity to slow down and although I don’t always enjoy the beauty of the moment still but its less time until I can sit and reflect some and by this it could be a memory from 2 days or 2 months ago but when it hits its hits good and I often smile if its a good one, I find myself not seeing as much joy in long ago memories since it always makes me feel like I am lazy and not who I used to be and even though it is the truth its hard to swallow sometimes since I was so get up and go finding the next adventure.
There was good in all I have done for certain and there are also fleeting memories of fun here and there however it is never with those most would think, for example one memory that hangs on is when I was about 12 maybe in there anyway it was my first time to Edmonton meeting my Uncles and playing football and horsing around is the best memory of that time. I have no control over what I remember and what I don’t it just comes and goes which makes me glad that I got so many pictures in my last run across the country they seem to mean more then pictures of people of the past this is for sure as I spent more time in life alone with the beauty the world had to offer then I did with people that had as much beauty.
Let’s also say I am in one of the best relationships I have ever been in not that its perfect it takes more work then most to keep things going on a path that we can both if not agree on make work compromise if you will as things change so quickly, I cant say there are a lot of folks that could accept this that’s for sure. Which makes the next point make sense that I am eating the beat I have for as long as I can remember and I used to be an athlete and thought I ate well then but this is on another level this is for sure and I think I have found my true passion in life as much as most will argue that fighting was I would have to say cooking is my gig since well fighting cant be a thing any longer which sucks but it is what it is at least I do have something as you will see in our recipe section as time goes on. So far all of these things make my mood better makes my little things I lose a little easier to accept since all honesty there are more high sides then downs, my quality of life has improved tremendously. For the first time in life I actually want to be home this hasn’t been a thing for as long as I can remember which I think has led somewhat to my house lock I am comfortable for once feel like I belong again double edge sword but better then.
So now the things we have learned and somewhat treat starting with the most prominent is the Parkinsonism’s and the Tourrettesisms yes these seem like made up words however when under pressure, not sleeping, or eating these things become very abrupt I begin cursing and very agitated and shakey with a new neck tik that I have noticed but again all kept at bay through weed and what it has to offer and along with our diet if you will we seem to have a handle on some of the worst and now if only we can get this memory thing under control things will be the best, but in life we know we cant have it all right? Truly I will take what I have compared to the way it was all day being comfortable is half the battle then you can at least stand and fight like we are going to be doing going forward this winter so join us and stay tuned for this one it will be epic to say the least and being armed with a few more tools makes our position a little stronger. As always thank you all for following and sharing in our crazy life these days.