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I Am Part Of The 1%.

Yesterday it became clear to me that I am part of the 1% of the population that needs more answers to what ails them, and the 1% that does something about it not sitting idly by and waiting for someone else to tell them what’s good and not good for them.

We had made a ton of plans for the spring such as cleaning our yard, rebuilding flower beds, beginning an interior renovation, hiking, road trips, and more, but as with most Covid fucked that all up, up until this past week or so I truly wasn’t sure how I was going to do it. Let’s remember nobody is doing things with C.T.E. that we are, those close are charging top dollar for the help they offer, this isn’t our approach we would rather build a community to learn from each other since we all know this suspected disease has many faces, and ways it presents itself from the early stages to the end.

We have adopted “Our own way” and it has been far from perfect and has taken along time to get to this point, where going outside alone to do yard work is a thing, where I am looking forward to hiking at the beach vlogging the entire thing and meeting new folks along the way. I wish I could be part of the 99% that lemming along pissing and moaning about life, the doctors, the pharmacist, your parents, job, welfare system, constantly crying about how everyone has ket me down and fucks me, yes I see the similarities in me somedays but I don’t unpack and live there since I got here because of me helped at various stages of life by outside factors hut none the less “My life is My responsibility” more should read this because if I waited for goofball doctors, dickhead old friends, asshole selfish cunt parents, or anyone else my life would either be over or I would be incarcerated end of discussion so this is one of many reasons why I feel as though I am part of the 1% club that takes no shit and dives into figuring their shit out mainly because that’s all I’ve had for the majority of my life, some call it arrogance and that’s ok as you wait for your script your now addicted to I feel you. The life we have is better then the alternative, not as good as if I was normal, the quality is the key and being more optimistic as this summer thing begins and I get more active even if getting out means in our yard for the day doing odds and ends its better then last year this we know as well.

The purpose of this is not to condemn the lemmings just to point out that there is another way and yes I know some of you still say I am a druggy, but you couldn’t be further from the truth, again as your taking your morning pills “you just can’t live without.” right I am the druggy gotcha. The fact as always is we don’t offer a cure, miracle treatment, or any other bunch of bullshit others do, just an honest view during a struggle like we have never seen and we have been pretty much alone again as we are part of the 1% and not the 99% and will continue to share and actually as I have been saying will be amping things up in the coming days and couldn’t be more excited, there you are just some of the reasons why I am part of the 1% and most aren’t. Have a great day all and thank you for following and giving us the most precious resource in the world and that is your time, see you live @9am tomorrow morning first topic back microdosing is it for you?

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Life Is Changing Very Quickly!

Well as some of you may know life for me is changing very quickly, what and just how much well let’s get into the ways thus far. After along time of using a laptop that I had spilled coffee on sometime ago and lost the use of a few letters, I copied and pasted because I as always am as cheap as fuck, we could’ve had a brand new one for cheap and I said no since I spill and drop shit all the god dam time therefore used works much better and after waiting we got one coming this week fingers crossed making things much less frustrating. This will again allow us to use our Blue Yeti Mic during lives on Facebook and YouTube, and now we can also edit the video we post on our channel to begin to offer a better viewing experience so to speak.

We are both sad and excited to be at the end of our first grow and the beginning of the second, since now the worry and concern for did we do this, that, or the other right and why haven’t they broke the surface yet, my brain already hurts as to whether I am making the right decision to harvest however the decision is made and as always I will stand beside it and be accountable for it although I am sure the 2 are done and 1 maybe a little over done, see the dilemma? This also runs into we are officially done purchasing online which some may say is a good thing to me it’s a need for a new routine since I still spend 6 to 7 days a week reading and researching our next buy, although not near the amount of hours I still know what we should be getting before it gets here, we will be however taste testing a new government place opening soon near us which will bridge the gap if needed and also offer some new and interesting strains, for those that have been following along time yes I feel like a hypocrite since I said this day would never come, but I also said to move our stuff so I feel safe I will need a government tax stamp container, 2 birds idea.

I know to a lot this would all seem so trivial but as we have come to learn routine changes and me don’t mesh well but this also opens the door for me to get out more like last weekend when we finished readying our project of flower beds and vegetable garden which I will continue today which brings about a shot load of anxiety coupled with a need to drink as many beers as humanly possible, whether it’s the beautiful day or just the help to get outside I am unsure all I know is I am struggling with not getting all fucked up. I mean let’s also look at things honestly it wouldn’t be the first time I self sabotaged all these great things, I mean fuck I went outside last night to put a screen back in without a shirt on, first off outside without Michelle and no shirt isn’t something I did all last summer no matter what we were doing so this year now that lockdown is coming to end I have to now put up or shut the fuck up, since I swore the flu bullshit was all that was holding me back, but I see now while I am anxious.

This blog has opened my eyes that there is maybe more at play and changing then I noticed as we are making plans for a cross country run beginning with baby steps in the coming days well today, Michelle isn’t feeling well and we have rain coming tomorrow so I have somethings to get done outside so the flowers get planted next weekend after we rebuild the beds and plant the seeds in our new vegetable garden, since again I have been looking for an excuse to get out and now I can’t be that punk I make fun of so time to nut up and get on with the day and not make excuses about why something can’t be done since there really is no reason since the worst thing really is that I will forget as I have done many times since we began our renovations making it more open concept and the flower beds making our house as nice or nicer then others since we looked like absolute shit last year since I gave up so easily. I forgot our exercise and clinician series both will again spring to life as we can now edit our video much better so we will get more in depth and as scared as I am, I also couldn’t be more excited to bring better quality video and blogging to everyone who takes time out of their day to watch and I truly want to bring video from some other places we go as well for those that maybe like me and stuck in the house, I have made Michelle watch what feels like a bazillion hours of Urbexers showcasing some crazy fucking shit and trust me we will be doing the same in our own way as we will be doing the entire fucking country by road the date has changed but after losing this summer to anything major as far as travel goes this is ok, it may give us an extra few months to be truly prepped as we will have to make sure our grow is done and well we won’t worry about that today just focus on getting there one step at a time. Thank you all for following along it truly does mean more then you know, have a great day as I head out to enjoy this day and prep for a growing season of flowers, tomatoes, peppers, and who knows what else we will do, and don’t forget back live Monday morning on Facebook see you then.

Is It My Fault You Don’t Understand?

So the age old question remains is it my fault you don’t understand? Last night again seen someone so intelligent they needed to argue and prove a point about 2 entirely different products, not stopping to watch a 2 minute video on why we have a YouTube channel and what it’s all about, to arrogant and ignorant to have their shit together before letting me know just how much pussy I don’t get because I am angry, let’s ponder this a second shall we? The trouble is I have the giddy up and go somedays of an 18 version of me depending upon where the squeeze is that day in my brain, defeating the whole funny attack on something again that must be my fault they don’t understand?

The troubles with society is everyone is an expert this douche bag talked shit about how great his setup was but wouldn’t purchase from them again, seemed to make zero sense in my head as a good setup is what would’ve made us go back to buy a new light, another tent, or any number of things however as we know it won’t be the case. The biggest kicker for me is how willing to engage in an arguement people are, even though they haven’t a fucking clue what they’re even talking about again 2 people comparing Vivosuns product to Indo notice they couldn’t even sound the same how is it that 2 didn’t understand me? My theory is a simple one we just have some overly opinionated assholes online and I won’t accept it so the moral of this bitch is know your shit before offering you half a cents knowledge, since in the street your bitch ass would simply shut the fuck up and dance on by because your a punk bitch, I don’t randomly go site to site fucking with people whether they’re right or wrong so why don’t you do the same? Since I am sure if our channel was referring to Cancer, Aids, ADHD, or any other host of well known ailments people would approach differently why is it because you don’t know C.T.E. it’s on me to fill your ignorant fucked up ass in all the god dam time? Seriously I think this has now become my major pissy point, we have no foundations, charities, support groups, assistance programs, or any fucking thing the rest have, what do we have you ask? The answer is simple we have a fucked up brain which we treat with various things while trying to make a community for like minded folks, and those suffering a host of mental illness related issues that aren’t maybe being addressed in the mainstream however like we have shown with microdosing we are onto something, and yes it is different from the others in that we are looking directly at C.T.E. which encompasses Dementia, Parkinson’s, Tourette’s, Depression, Anxiety, and much more fun and games then we ever thought possible all while doing alone since again we have zero of the above mentioned and please don’t point out those we have already parted ways with since we wouldn’t have if they offered something, the blogs are all in here if your that interested have a look. So again is it my fault you don’t understand? Yes according to @Allconcussion I am an anomaly what a fucking joke I am just someone that won’t do some bullshit dog and pony show and pretend everything is wonderful when it truly fucking isn’t and it’s ok since I don’t fit into the Concussion nor Traumatic Brain Injury division, that’s why we made our own and honestly after yesterday message received and I truly appreciate those from around the world that spoke up, liked, and generally took a little time out of your day it made things more bearable since I was going to call it quits but not anymore it was like a breath of fresh air to see more get it then I truly see and for those that still don’t get it, you honestly turn angry days into happy ones as I snap the fuck out on your stupid comments i feel better and can let it go once in some cases like this I write about it and it gets better so I guess thank your dumb asses to since without you I would be alot snappier with those that do matter. Thank you to those following along who get it and let’s see where are going in the not so distant future in another blog coming sooner then later.

I Want To Quit Everyday!

I want to quit everyday I wake up, I see zero fucking point in doing what I do anymore but for whatever reason I keep pushing forward knowing full well nobody gives a fuck. I post in blog share groups where people think I am stupid enough to believe they read as they’re supposed to your lying cunts fuck off simple, I used to read others but why since they’re cunts, I promise not one will read what I think about them. I find people fascinating as well as a drag since most represent fuck all and aren’t solid nor smart enough to make a stand on anything hence this feeling of people being here one day and finding something more interesting, see with what we battle being a Johnny comelately or a person who takes what they want and fucks off, throw away society really is all it is and it hurts my feelings as it would anyone who put what I do into this and yes I have slacked off because out of the potential 500 people if the constant 2 or 3 don’t reply then nobody does, why is it that people like our page, join our group? Just to what, I’m fucking lost at what to do next since I am not sure if I am doing good or not crickets all the god dam time? Makes zero sense because we aren’t your typical stund cunt stoner platform, we don’t beg for money, we have offered countless times to help folks if they needed some help in getting their shit out there, we have reached out to businesses to promote and well FUCK YOU ALL, see.i give up eventually and WE DON’T FUCKING NEED A THING!!! We have watched all the major losers, crybabies, pissy pants, drama queens, and more get sponsors and we got snubbed every fucking time not to mention this whole blog share nonsense, and why bother is what I keep asking myself? The answer it’s for me not you and I lose sight of this all the god dam time, and allow me to serve others, I know seems fucked up and now that I am back seeing a counselor I’ll work on it. Through all of this I understand why people won’t work with us as most of their shit is garbage and the reviews I’ll leave aren’t acceptable to most which again is cool and eventually I will come to terms with it, although I think I sort of have already.

The fucker of it all is this has been my.life always on the outside and generally by choice since I never fit in because I believe what I do and it contrasts the vast majority of you pussies because its against status quo and most poopoo that shit right quick. I guess as I write this I am beginning to see as I have been for a bit, let’s get this straight I’m not a cocky cunt like most think I’m fucking confident in a lot of areas and Michelle laughs at me all the time because I don’t see my value well reflected from others and having nobody left it makes it hard to find a worth, but I cook, and clean better then most women, I drink, fuck, and fight better then most, and I’m humble because I have been humbled and most men still want that “My dick is bigger then yours” chats and I personally have no time for it, nor do I have the brain power to walk to a past where I was a monster like I am becoming once again because my brain has been smashed around so much I have no choice other then suicide to get rid of this, but I am not ready for that yet, in time I am sure just not right now. I guess I am seeing why most men don’t want to fuck with me and I laugh now because I shouldn’t cry and complain about who is or isn’t here since most of the people I used to know have yet to leave high school, college, first job, shitty home life, and remain frozen in time although sad to fucking bad we are all given 1 life to with as we please and most wrote me off for prison and death, instead I lived a life working through the bullshit of my childhood and moving on free of that nonsense as I had zero fucking control over 2 fucking insane parents not my troubles, and truthfully all I wanted from them now is a chance to finish better then we started however they like most others want to simply wallow in the mistakes of yesteryear. I put it to bed the first sunrise I seen sweep a valley floor, as I watched swinging some 275 feet in the air from my safety line climbing another 100 as a young snot nose Rig hand, tough as nails and scared to death working the oil patch in Northern Alberta where my life could’ve and almost did end without warning, sour gas and falling steel are both dangerous, its then I realized the past and the future were things not to be controlled since being afraid of dying meant I couldn’t focus on my job either in the patch, underground, or finally behind the wheel of a truck. I had to stay in the moment and love or hate the cunt it’s all I had so life experience began and it got so much better, didn’t fucking help anyone else though and there is NOTHING I can do about others shitty path of boring nothingness, just look forward to our roadtrip or trips coming in the not so distant future where we will live life and spend time doing shit rather then worrying about who’s paying attention. Yesterday again I was ready to take my ball and go home because I was being a fucking baby and today is different, doesn’t mean I won’t be flustered tomorrow just for now and today I’m cool.

So if you read this leave a like or comment or me know it’s worth while how many of you pussies would’ve quit by now because your vag was stung? Ya 99.9% I know seen lots come and go and Jen, Michelle, and Toni you always like and or comment so you don’t count, let’s hear from some new folks. Thank you for following along and understanding mental illness and traumatic brain injuries are the real deal and emotions are up and down and somedays out of my control have a great day live @4pm again see you then.

The Power Of Music!

The power of music is something that is often underestimated and most of the time we rejoice at the happy memories and times that music is to bring out in us, but what about when it goes wrong?

This I believe is exactly how it is today since the weather although in turmoil it’s not causing the amount of anger and aggression I am currently showing, what would explain it and the way I woke up is the trip down memory lane we took yesterday at finding new and exciting songs to listen to as we move forward with some of the newer things we will be doing in the coming weeks. I also think I am still angry at this silly ass flu bullshit fucking so much up for no reason as we watch the bug pharma train roar to life and those stocks hit the roof, there is a bigger picture that most of you dumb cunts seem to forget as I read today that as always taxpayers are footing the bill now how fucking smart are you crybaby, finger pointing, jonny dogood, fuckface, rat bastards, who can hardly afford what they have now much less with more taxes and fees and bullshit now let’s see if the lockdown was worth your social status as well fucking lemmings.

I attack these fucking fools because we all know the Wendy Whiners I hate being at home, I fucking hate my job, I am broke, I j8st bought a brand new car, yes we all know this person many by a different name but none the less these are the cunts with all the say the turn costs, chameleons, the ones who likely get a government check to help them every month hence the new shit and lack of caring, it angers me that an Orange inbred wanna be leader from the states has so much clout to continuously bully the world into doing his bidding, I am angry our government doesn’t have the balls of a female rat, I am angry that we have lost all rights and freedoms over fake bullshit from drugs and terror, to now a fuckong disease that has been here a minute why can’t we do this for aids, cancer, ebola, addictions, fuck pump that much into our senior citizens so they’re not patient zero next time and left to fend for themselves, I am angry that all those pussy ass mother fuckers in charge of these elderly aren’t in prison never mind your bullshit waste of money inquiry charge and convict end of discussion why don’t our elderly matter more? Why aren’t their children taking care of them so this fucking shit doesn’t happen again? Well because they’re all fucking pussy ass followers who would rather have a fat bank account riddled with shitty credit and bad decisions on their way to keeping up with the Jones’ who needs the interruption of a sick parent right? Let’s just whine and cry later about how fucked up the system is, right a generation of not my faulters who take zero accountability because it’s not their fault their a cunt right? As you see I am angry about a lot that others seem to see as just fine, from FORCED vaccines and wearing masks in public, seems to make sense until you read of the Latinos and Blacks now getting shot and arrested for robbery by disguise as they buy their little kids some candy and treats, now this makes some fucking sense doesn’t it? Didn’t everyone just spend BILLIONS saying Muslims COULD NOT COVER THEIR FACES?? Then Covid comes along and wastes another bunch of money like fuck me are YOU ALL RETARDED??

The bullshit of this all is I walked through SARS and would have worked through this as well since my past profession was a commercial truck driver so I am certain I would have laughed at you mask wearing weirdos no differently the I did before since I won’t wear one period. This little period has taught me a lot not only about me but the vast majority of humanity as well and to say I am heavily disappointed is an understatement since anyone doing anything good seems to need to run to the media for all the attention in the world, why not just do it and shut the fuck up like we used to do, seems it’s all about the clout as usual and the recognition anyone who reads regularly sees I’m in a bad spot and just sick of being bullied by the American establishment into doing shit their way time to tell them to take a long hard suck of our fat Canadian cocks I’d say since all he does is threaten and bully and threaten and blame and talk shit and look stupid, they say your leader is a direct reflection of it’s people, yes I get why we are perceived as pussies don’t worry, however Trump has lead me to believe inbreeding has taken a huge resurgence amongst the rich and famous of that country since well he’s about as ass backwards and inbred as it gets honestly don’t think I have seen a more unintelligent human in my life and my ex wife was kne stunned cunt let me tell you but even she would maybe be smarter then this mutt faced cunt! Enough bitching for today have a great day all and thank you for following along let’s hope this weather clears sooner then later.

The Day Corona Died!

The Day Corona Died!

 

Well here we go a new routine and way of life begins today, I truly forgot it was the long weekend but my routine starts now. We put off so much in the wake of this silly bullshit and listened to and read some of the most outlandish claims for a cold or flu EVER and for those that think 300 thousand is a lot check the Americans stats on civilians killed during their march for TERRA (GWB and his inability to speak english) or Regans war on drugs such BULLSHIT and this is no different but I am the minority and will leave it as such since everyone else knows more then I do.
Today brings back the 420 live starting at 4pm eastern on Facebook and if course this is all leading to the YouTube switch in the coming weeks since we have so much to do and this year has been cut short. Some of our plans included us already being on hikes and exploring all the while shooting new and interesting video as we go since we are building up for a cross country tour vlogging the entire way but we have to get out of the house which most know has been my single biggest obstacle but this past week seen us get all of our shit tidied up from last year and taken to the dump, flower beds are weeded and ready for a fresh look, the vegetable garden is measured and awaiting what it needs, also the winter dog shit is cleaned and gone as well things we never got done until almost the end of summer last year hence why we are still dealing with it now.
The reasons for taking a step back are long and lengthy however the lies and bullshit the routine change the uncertainty had me all sorts of fucked up, the new experts in social media world who can’t spell their own fucking names now have a PhD in all kinds of bullshit and aren’t afraid to threaten and bully you into seeing it their way, well push this guy one step to far and I come out like an animal and have attacked many of these stupid cunts vocally as getting my hands on them was tough otherwise I’d have best the shit out of them simple and easy. I don’t follow an inept government as most of you who one day hate them and then love then hate, fuck make up your minds and get all your personalities on the same page.
This all being said I am fucking done with Covid and all its asshole nonsense today I come back live and am adding more and more shit as we go Instagram and Twitter are back on line and we are again working at getting our C.T.E. and Marijuana message out and build a community of like minded folks not fools, and yes folks that follow us are smarter then most they look outside the box and realize the trillions of dollars the government’s are throwing around will be paid back by the blue collar AGAIN, not like you other dumb fucks that thinks the money fairy is covering it all see I am already shutting you crybaby fuckers down for the next crybaby round when taxes go up and you have to pay back every cent of this bailout LMAO you will all swing the other way but again who am I?
I truly don’t place much emphasis on this shit since the flu generally takes more people in a season then the dreaded made up flu its fucking laughable honestly at how many so called educated people are in fact such silly and stupid cunts blind mice.comes to mind since its impossible for anyone other the those who lab made Corona to have any answers funny how the CDC thinks it has it well when your as corrupt as the government you suck dick on makes sense your dirty as fuck as usual anyway. My disdain for American politics and foreign policy has made me about as sick of that fucking government as I have ever been and I am waiting for word to come down that the Orange guy has pushed either Iran or China over the edge and the ALMIGHY AMERICAN WAR MACHINE rolls alive again but will again get its ass kicked to the tune of how many young men and women in another stupid fucking war that does nothing but make the rich richer and the blue collar poor as fuck so keep arguing and fighting about how smart you are while the rest laugh at your dumb broke ass and just how fucking stupid you look when the truth comes out, for me it has.
This will be the last invasion of Covid on my account and I will get it all out now so we will move on without it since we had so many new and interesting things to cover outside the house, we figure end of July before we make any real big moves as thing loosen up, but I had an agenda and now I will make it happen, this is one of the few times I have an agenda separate from us, see Michelle works so this essentially has become my job to research and report on various shit and its time I get back to where we were headed and that was a comfortable spot for me to get a message out and do what we are while Michelle is away at work if that all makes sense. In the coming weeks lives on YouTube will begin also depending on response today lives will continue on Facebook as well, but I truly think Facebook has run its course, these blogs, reviews, and more as time goes, there is alot to this disease and most think you have be rich and famous to have it and fucking trust us if your broke nobody wants to fuck with you especially the sole group there to help the Concussion Legacy Foundation biggest myth out there, they will help as long as your daddy big bucks other wise as we learned from this pandemic fuck off it’s that simple, so cool again we will carve our own niche and continue to grumble, bitch, and chew, sharing the reality of being 46 and suffering symptoms that point to a mysterious brain disease that fits the profile of my life, one that has no diagnosis nor cure, we stumble along trying things to see if they fit into who, what, where, how, and why I am or could be and this far this thing so to speak we are doing is working of course better somedays then others but at the end of the day without the flu around things will be better and once the final fear mongering by one of the elite American misinformation papers is done and the lies stop I hope every bit of government is fired and charged with treason for the way the elderly especially but the entire bunch of lockdown bullshit went and how many people went from barely to nothing at all is a fucking shame but unless it affects you we know from experience you have ZERO FUCKS TO GIVE UNTIL ITS YOU!!! Have a great day all and thank you for following along.

 

Well this past week has seen me become the most angry

 

 

The Covid 19 Lies

Well today’s the last I can handle on the Covid 19 lies and bullshit, i know you flakey shit heels are scrambling and so scared of getting the flu but calm the fuck down this has been an absolute abomination from day 1 mainly from our American neighbors who’s news sources are the most full of shit lying cunts in the world not as bad as Donald Trump the consummate child molesting, racist, arrogant, and truly the most unintelligent human being it’s been my sorry as pleasure to see in office anywhere.

I truly hope you find it within yourself to tell me just how wrong I am about the lies from CNN, MSNBC, The Washington Post, NY Times, all full of fucking shit, case in point The Washington Post had a story about countries going back into lockdown and funny enough after the headline they didn’t name a fucking country, like the Russia and China bullshit, yes please Canada most importantly Jason Kenney from Alberta let’s make China an enemy, let’s rush right out and make outlandish statements about how we need to get rid of China? How about sit the fuck down and explain to us how a scientist in Manitoba working at a CDC lab was arrested after sending something unknown to China?? Source quote CBC Canada! Argue with it shit heels, lemmings, broke mother fuckers is what you are now since in my 40 odd years alive I have never seen a Government protect their people and in this case they fucked each and every one of you and truly it looks fucking good on you all, you hate the government but fuck you digest the lies and bullshit so easily. I FUCKING HATE THIS COVID NONSENSE as that’s all the fuck it is.

Timeline Cuomo ” We need respirators now such a need.”

And then Cuomo ” 63% of people who died had respirators so they are evil.”

Cuomo again ” We need social distancing to fight this.”

Cuomo again ” The resurgence in cases is caused by isolating.”

And all you dumb cunts are eating it up, and let’s talk this stimulus bullshit that the rich companies are getting but the small mom and pop joints, mr and mrs single parent can’t even fucking get help, nor go to work, so what are they to do?? Right nobody gives a fuck the rich tanked the stock markets to make huge fucking profits, for all you incompetent dumb cunts, buy low sell high come to mind?? Warren Buffet and all his amazing advice, from a rich cunt who’s been rich cunt since raping and pillaging was allowed, so Buffet suck a dick cunt us poor cunts can’t be rich cunts unless were selling dope and even then you rich cunts get your take. Like it don’t like it Covid is the biggest fuck job since the war on Drugs and Terror again thanx to the American fag ass government who needs to keep everyone scared, wait a second isn’t that what a bully does?? Ya that fully Vietnam and the Taliban kicked the fuck out of you and there will be more to come, this isn’t a call to arms it’s an opinion that Goofy Ass Fucker Trump has the whole world scared about the Russians, China, North Korea, Iran, and who the fuck else is the big old War Machine going after??? Maybe me maybe you who the fuck knows, maybe we need to he a certain type of Christian and the war will be on others instead of Muslims, Chinese, Iranians, or maybe everyone has had enough of the threats, lies and bullshit and now will be the time everyone turns the tables on these loud mouth pussy mother fuckers. See it’s so easy to fly an airplane and drop bombs, but when your troops put feet to ground you blow hard dick now sit the fuck down stop your lies and propaganda and fade into the background because we know without war America has ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL, 1 in 3 has a criminal record, more of it’s own people incarcerated, torched and killed by their own fucking people, are they the only ones? Fuck NO but they are the ones in control rolling out their big bad news liars to point fingers, someone once told me to look at the 4 pointing back at you and it’s about fucking time, no more war on drugs, terror, religion, or any fucking thing else and MY OPINION IS THIS COVID IS A WEAPON THE UNITED STATES MADE AND TESTED ON ITS ENEMIES. Look at it objectively they have fought with them all since Trump the little orange CUNT got to office spoiled little rich boy that needs his fucking teeth kicked out.

Todays angry mess is brought to you by a brain fed up with lies and threats either kill me with Covid or fuck right off. Have a great day all.

“Cleaning Out Our Closests” So To Speak.

“Cleaning Out Our Closests” So To Speak.

 

Well it’s time to clean out our closets so to speak and something we have been attempting to do since last March when we began and for one reason or another things never exactly made it all the way to the dump so we had little bits of mess here and there from various parts of life including since we have lived here and today I can say it’s all gone, and I am sore as fuck but I feel alive. Whether it be a 20 year old couch or design flaws that don’t work for us the new changes had to come through, I mean the first year we had this house we had a bunch of money grubbing douchey fucks here that sometimes the ghosts hang and most know what I mean, and now they’re gone everywhere I look now I see fresh beginnings and new paths, much better then last year without a doubt as I am now excited for spring and things to do.
This spring was to be a lot more then what it currently is we should’ve had hikes and outings done by now and last years me would have written the entire year off with the idea of getting it next year, but I am fucking determined to not stay down this year. We have an agenda and it will get met the trouble with the renovations and such we are doing first off I have to go outside which the vast majority know isn’t my thing as well as trusting that I can take things apart without snapping and burning our house down, now some are chucking but this is a reality when I snap I fucking cleanly snap so this and our house in upheaval for the weekend held me off of doing things like this as I stayed as focused as I could. It seems self doubt is King with this shit we struggle with I used to build houses from the footing to the highest ceilings inside I was never interested in being a roofer that being said it was also along time ago but self doubt let’s me be ok with not trying and I’m tired of that as well since I have let very little slow me down in my life but self doubt halts the wheels of motion quickly, not this fucking time.
This time is much different as I stated last week I am back seeing an amazing counselor I did some solid work with back in the day, as well as now utilizing microdosing once every month and the exercise starts in the next week or so things are coming along, albeit slowly and much fucking slower then I wanted however I have also come to the understanding I am not who I used to be and it’s time to accept that and realize I have limitations and must work within them, unlike yesterday when I thought I was 19 again slugging old railway ties and shitty building materials but I produced more endorphins and healthy brain functions that I am ready to do it again today since we have a flower bed and vegetable garden to prep for planting, however I will chill some today and not do what I always do to much and fuck myself for a week, old dog learning a new trick so that I can pick things up tomorrow or the next day depending on weather. I am more excited then I have been in a while since I have proven to myself that I can still do things, I think I maybe let this shit take over a little much and now I am taking my life back or as much as I can, the adventures, blogs, blogs, and all the other associated things we do and will be doing including a huge cross country trip we are already planning, and those who have seen know we will plan and plan and work until we get there but it’s our hope to be trail walking and hiking sooner then later and then who knows as time will tell as this summer is still up in the air for what we will and won’t be allowed to do after the farce and bullshit of flu season where so many have and will continue to lose their shit but our amazing goofball governments have us covered ok enough with the jokes I am no Bill Cosby, thank you for following have a great day and stay tuned things are about to heat up with Our SUSPECTED C.T.E LIFE.

 

 

Just How Quickly It Changes

 

 

Do You Have A Second?

Do You Have A Second?

 

Well yesterday seen the biggest changes in me for a very long time, it saw me get rid of the rest of the nostalgia and began seeing a counselor that I had seen a lot of during my teens and into early adulthood with whom I did a ton of good work with and now we will begin to deal with all of the end of life shit that we can as well as the feeling that everyone from my past opened the car door and kicked me out and into Michelle’s lap to deal with.
I swore I would never go back to counseling I mean from 11 or 12 until my mid 30s was more then enough or so I had thought and truly had life continued with me being normal I would never have sought counseling again, I had all the tools I could possibly need for a normal person so to speak, but as life would have it hear we are and this is a good thing since I need someone outside of our relationship to vent and talk about certain things, and as we have seen even Covid doesn’t bring the boys to my yard and I can get quite confused about life at times or have a break through I want to share with someone so this is the best move I could’ve made.
Yesterday also seen me go from 13 friends down to 7 anyone associated with my old home town or nostalgia period had to go because they contributed jack fuck as we truly don’t know each other anymore, I mean seriously I know Jen, James, and Lee better then anyone I used to know here and nobody wanted to know more, I don’t add people on social media to not talk to them, I maybe slow at answering or have my phone fucked up again and not get notifications, and don’t laugh just happened couldn’t get a notification other then a phone call and even some of those got missed so it’s real for me I get mad and hit shit and then forget. This all being said those new friends I kept I did it because we cake together for a reason even though I haven’t met all of you and in some ways it’s better I think as we all seem to be going the same direction and that’s just learning and sharing our daily lives like normal folks do if normal folks do that anymore. I also got 2 blogs done yesterday so things are looking up the Covid joke has almost run its course, the loons have set the 5g towers ablaze all over the world time to move the fuck on we had a life planned for this year and I’ll be fucked if I am missing another summer of adventure it’s not happening, we lost last year for brain related issues and we just can’t let it happen again times of the essence as we don’t know how many good years we have left and the Road Trip of the country must happen, but the only way is to baby step things small outings and then gradually build up the entire time moving further away from home for longer, I have never been one to not see something new or have the desire to do so but last year crawling in a hole and staying there made sense for some odd reason, but now its go time the beach, hiking trails, ice creams in odd places, and most importantly memories which are always more important then anything else in my opinion.
The original title of this was going to be “Needing Friends Apply Within” or some cheese dick bullshit like that since a couple years ago I had almost 200 or more fakes and now 7 reals took a while and mostly thought I mean 30 years knowing someone is hard to walk away from it’s like having a funeral before someone’s time, but I know full well I won’t see any of these people and even if I do I won’t know them and my lack of trust will most likely have me lashing the fuck out in the most violent way they have ever seen because its fucking personal and I won’t ever forget the “FEELING” I had of you last and your fucked simple you can’t take me now much less then so sit down, and I have a list of face that run in my head during these times and by the numbers in locations I know your watching and your a joke all of you but this isn’t about that it’s about us moving on past the anchors we once had around our necks in thinking we had to hang onto the past not worth it as we look forward to meeting a fella in BC named Dax rumor has it he knows a cool beach we could hit when we get there or sending a certain someone our seeds so they may enjoy crops like us, sharing grow, strain, disease, mental health, or any other piece of knowledge we can either learn or share is all we wanted to do from day 1 and with everyone from family to the Concussion Legacy Foundation telling me I am not welcome, it’s time to make my own way and I am about mad enough to be motivated and just like the grow once Covid is gone so are we so hang onto your hats as we will begin the ride shortly vlogging every step of the way to show YOU just how possible things are now mind you tough to plan and execute with a ton of hurdles in the way that doesn’t matter it’s the trip at the end of the bullshit that matters perhaps meeting some new and crazy folks to have a puff with or a coffee and chat maybe share some of our products so to speak and this is all exciting to us living is the ultimate and over the course of the next couple years we will have some amazing sights and sounds to share with those that maybe where we were last year and they just need a little motivation like we did and for that I watched YouTube a huge thanx to all you Urbexers showing me all your amazing adventures from the Proper People to Wingin it with Paul, they have taken me all over the world while I stopped by Seed to Stoned and Mr Canuck to learn how to grow some good weed. It’s now time for us to stop living vicariously through others and show the rest of the world a tour of Canada from eyes that have seen alot of this country and places most would never go to boring for some.
This all being said thank you all for your continued support and hang on tight as we gear up for the year that won’t stop once it gets going and the beauty is it’s all free other then gas of course but no good adventure has ever been free let’s face it I have never had a road trip go as planned but isn’t that half the fun? Have a great day all.

 

When My Brain Is Locked Onto The Past.

 

 

Why Play Games?

Why Play Games?

 

So here we are again with people being more fucking goofy then me and I’m done and have said as such for sometime now, see it was explained very simply to me a few years ago people either add to your life or need subtracting and well for me this has been life’s moto, and yes it was tougher with some then others but at the end of the day it’s me who truly matters the most after all isn’t it?
People truly still to this day don’t fucking get it and truly don’t give a fuck, I mean I had an invite and was ready to move forward on it in the only way we can slow and steady planning months in advance to make shit happen and it takes me along time to commit weighing all possibilities takes alot as there are more factors then most know and more so then I care to explain any longer and it’s situations like this that make me want to walk away into the abyss so to speak and tell you all to take a long hard suck of my cock because your all full of shit…aren’t you? Or is it just those I chose to fuck with being so shady and shitty? I some how doubt I am alone here.
The situation at hand was a total shocker to me which made me look alot harder at it and truly I almost let fear over take me and say thanks but no thanks, but instead I powered down and said sure what the fuck let’s do this shit, and bang ghosted again like really? I had left messenger open on my personal account and more people then I should’ve so by Friday this will all be rectified and out of the 13 most won’t be here any longer in the group page or other wise, time for the rest to skip down the fucking road and for me to again open my personal account as I now know who is and isn’t in our lives truly doesn’t take much nor long and it is totally sad that anyone I have known for longer then 3 years will likely be gone and forgotten that simple. The thing is disrespect is one thing forgetting I am a human with emotions and needs is fucked and there is no hard feelings with anyone in wish you all truly all the best but it’s time to go really and I will be using 3 or 4 accounts to make sure your all gone and never coming back this time again I have 2 troll accounts nobody knows about so block Michelle and I all you want we are done with dick riders, and wanna bes of any caliber.
This next couple of years is going to see us doing some travel vlogging and building our site and channel, as we navigate through C.T.E. and the fun of adventuring around Ontario at first and then the rest of Canada one little experience at a time and were hoping to visit some folks we did know now that’s a joke and laughable truly, but travel we will and starting out one little adventure at a time, from the hiking trails to the beaches around where we live and then ever expanding meeting new and interesting people not old and fucking boring people videoing every step of the crazy way. We are easy to deal with either in or out just pick since we would have loved everyone to come along but most of you are to busy in a lockdown to be human and answer a fucking message oh well ain’t shit slowing me down this time, Michelle needs to see alot and what a tour guide I will make as us and the dogs bop around Canada how we haven’t as yet decided but we will figure it out. We have several options rent and RV which we priced and WOW, drive our own and stay in motels, or however else the fuck we want either way anyone who knows me…..oh wait not alot do so that being said I have bus, trained, planned, hitchhiked, and drove across this country and have or had tales of them all and the fun I had, so join us as we will be adding things and changing lots in the coming months including the scenery and how the video is edited for a better version of us since we can’t fucking wait to get going and this Covid frustration has me all cunted but soon we will be free to hit the trails, I mean we social distance now since so many humans are such rotten cunts to one another like the case that has worms itching my asshole now, but enough squaking time for the talking to stop and the people to leave that’s all have a great day all I have some Black Ops 4 to get at before my first…..well I will leave that for another days blog.

 

People Didn’t Want Me So WTF?

 

 

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