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This Truly Isn’t For Me!

This Truly Isn’t For Me!

 

Well seems this cyclical fuckery has begun again this overwhelming fatigue and I don’t fucking like it and for whatever reason can’t beat it this time, even though I slept longer last night then I had in a while it did very little to help today. These are days generally most don’t see the clawing and digging to stay awake for just that second minute longer, not smoking much to keep weed fatigue out of the equation as much as possible however it doesn’t matter one way or the other since I’m the same stupid tired either way.
Throughout my life the toughest thing has been following rules or being thumbed down and at this stage of life this is exactly what it feels like is happening, my brain has decided this day or that I will the tired as fuck and there is simply fuck all I can do about it and I simply can’t deal with it at all. Since I can longer work or go on adventures I should fucking well be able to stay awake for a day I mean really I fought the naps off last year and guess I must again, at a time when most just say fuck it and crawl into bed I simply fucking won’t I have come to far to step back or regress if you will.
This to me seems like a prelude to coming events and I don’t want to be apart of them already being isolated fucked with my head but if I now have to slow down and step back again this will do nothing but push me into total isolation as what is the fucking point, I mean I’m all about picking my ass up but that last one was it for me and I am more inclined to shut down and stop fighting to stay awake when my brain sees fit to act a fool, as having some control would be cool I mean fuck showered yesterday and totally forgot by last night well truly before supper, I know I know you anti pot smokers it must be the weed, fucking baboons.
This past week again saw me join some brain injury groups and stupidly to since I have tried this approach many times all ending the same way me leaving the group as I don’t fit in and it shows, and it truly doesn’t matter the group material either it’s never my place to be and this to I think is wearing me down to a fine point and its funny how it takes writing to help me see just how close to the edge I am and that there is no other reason the my own life is hijacked by my own god dam brain and all its anxiety and forgetfulness and stupid I can handle, I mean how much can one take before they snap well keep following along as i once again try and find my way through this maze of fucking nonsense to achieve whatever life is left for me to have because quitting now isn’t in the equation, don’t get me wrong it’s always on the table I for now have more fight left, more education, and who knows maybe even more friends to make the future has yet to he decided and today’s plans aren’t finished as I have a live to do in an hour and 45 mins or so, I am unsure how I will feel in the morning but for now I’m grumpy and want to fight for tomorrow which is a good sign.
I am of the opinion more need to see this but more importantly more need to talk about it, I mean fuck been doing this awhile and very few chatter with me on a bad day, tell the truth when asked, the fear of feeling weak is crazy and the vast majority of humanity, not just guys don’t want to appear weak unless they’re a thirsty ass cunt looking for clout. The vast majority of us suffer in silence I guess another mold I am hoping to break as I to am a mans man but I want to live for a while longer after having a brain take so much control and memory away I need to keep what little I have left, well my life is a little more then a lot but it’s all I have left and for today I will keep it and tomorrow will come and I will deal with this again then. Thank you all for following along and don’t forget live on the Book @9am & 4pm starting today have a great day.

 

The Aftermath So To Speak.

 

 

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Is It Over Already?

Is It Over Already?

 

I can’t help but sit and ask is it over already? I have been trying and pushing and fighting to continue lives and blogging, however I am so fuckin tired I just can’t do it. I have often pushed to hard I guess when I have energy and am accomplishing things as it does feel good to get shit done like this since I hate missing days.
It’s hard to remember the seemingly endless days I work without sleep most of it and with little food since it made me to tired to continue, and now writing a blog, doing a live and some laundry is about as big a day as I can manage, but for me this isn’t enough. I have been a go getter to long to sit back and do nothing, although going silent at the end of last week wasn’t the coolest shot ever but it needed done as I simply couldn’t keep my eyes open and sadly not from over consuming as I didn’t even get there just woke up tired and didn’t recover from it since and truly don’t know where this round of being dictated will be over or will it end this time? When I see this happening because it does a lot I change how I consume weed in that it’s less always, generally in the morning I wait from between 1 to 2 hours after I get up to have my first rip, and then generally its 4 small bowls stretched over about 2 hours giving every single hit time to set in and see if this is enough or do I need a little more? Generally speaking the 4 is enough and that generally takes me to about 10 am again depending on what time I wake up which as of late has been from 1230am to 430am again among routine not my friend, and the fact it just keeps fucking with me out of the blue is becoming more troublesome each time it happens.
This again is the time I would much rather have my face buried in video games avoiding the world, some of it this time I am certain has to do with the overload of bullshit constantly being posted about this Covid and 5g service, also the amount of hate we have seen in so many stories from the poor folks stuck at sea and the Americans online saying “sink them” “kill them” like have we come to this? And after now people should just what, trust the mentality that helping they neighbor is a good thing? Sadly I am now of the mindset if we ain’t cool and shit goes bad best keep driving there’s no help here for you and anyone coming for trouble will absolutely find it and more then they have bargained for this I am certain. This situation has taken someone who already was afraid of the boogeyman and made it 10 times worse, since I like history so much it’s a situation that takes me back to pre WW2 the snitching, the bullying, the name calling, the we are better then you mentality, I promise those of you being so negative aren’t ready for the end, scared that you will lose your precious status in life and people like me will make you our bitches and your money and title mean fuck all, sad that I would rather now become as vile as those I witnessed talking nasty shit, sad that I would ignore a knock on the door and let someone starve instead of helping. In reality I always knew how evil people could be and would be from hoarding toilet paper to beer selfishly not worrying about the best person, I thought people fighting over toys and electronics was the worst however I now know every man for himself. The good thing is that history has taught me much and this lockdown is just the first of more to come for “our own good”, again if stupid and selfish mother fuckers would just well I wouldn’t stay at home either if i wasn’t how I am, but I wouldn’t have hoarded so much shit either no matter what I wouldn’t have lost my HUMANITY.
The fact is we deal with so much paranoia already this makes me want to put all 3 of us under 1 proof after this and make sure we have all the supplies and snare lines we would need for later on in order to sustain ourselves in case, I have zero trust in the government to look after us once the strip us of everything like they just did and will do again, and I guess that’s on bonus of this disease I won’t feel “OK” until we have a few things we have been talking about for the next time this happens. I truly believe I am depressed over this shit everytime you look anywhere lockdown, death, paranoia, lies in some cases all being told to what? Really the numbers don’t support what is happening anywhere and sadly the truth will come out one day after the damage is done, and for me it’s done trust fucking nobody and stockpile your own shit and fuck thy neighbor don’t come knocking in the event of another pandemic as we just simply don’t give a fuck. Never in my life did I think I would be at this point however I am and it’s a result.of knowing just how evil and cancerous us as humans truly are and how it turns into the survival of the fittest and a huge mob mentality which again divides us all which us the easiest way to take total control. I will leave you with this thought for those that either believe or not in the New World Order I seen a speech our premier gave yesterday quoting the Americans in “Together We Stand Divided We Fall” seemed almost ominous as he said it, let that sink the fuck in and I am not a conspiracy guy but something hasn’t smelled right since the jump you decide for you, thank you following along and have a great day, no lives today and we will see when tomorrow gets here but I still plan 9 and 4 hopefully making 1 for sure. Have a great day all.

 

Getting Used To Death.

 

 

Orange Cookies Strain Review.

Orange Cookies Strain Review.

 

Well my goodness what a shock and for the good Orange Cookies was a strain I sort of said sure why not to before truly seeing what it was, not something I do often however why not right? This for starters isn’t something I have really done a lot of since most of the time the unknown isn’t worth chancing a bad reaction, which we have had a few times over the years.
I have to admit right from the opening of the bag it had me and how I am unsure as the scent of pure Lavender hit me in the face and until that very second I thought I hated the smell guess I was wrong, and the interesting part is Michelle wasn’t home when it got here therefore it was in the hear when she first smelled and she got more citrus. This to me is the best when we get 2 different Terpene Profiles from the same strain by this time I was getting a hint of citrus still not as much as Michelle bit more then at first.
The appearance was amazing as well nice big well trimmed buds that had we got a week or 2 earlier would’ve been almost perfectly cured, however what we got was a slightly dry on the outside with some nice oil left in the bud when it was ground, so much different then the pre sprayed bullshit we had before. It isn’t often I am as surprised as what I was with this one and do we know 100% this was Orange Cookies no we sure don’t what we do know is between Cannasos, WikiLeaf, and Leafly we gathered some information on looks, taste, terpenes, and reviews from others as we always do we tasted in our way and smelled and can say at about 85%-90% this was in fact Orange Cookies and now we would like to find seeds to this one as well since it sounds like an easy photo period to grow. If your into Indica Dominant Hybrids either stemming from Girl Scout Cookies or Orange Juice then this one maybe worth a look for you, remember buy and try small and go from there
Have a great day all and remember over eating edibles live today @2pm Eastern only on Facebook.

 

Black Diamond Strain Review!

 

 

Just How Quickly It Changes

Just How Quickly It Changes

 

Yesterday seen me accomplish so much that needed doing I just hadn’t had the energy to do anytime sooner as we have been on a roller coaster for the past few weeks, between weather and hitting my head the issues have been lengthy, you maybe curious what this is all about well it seems today is right back to shit again and we are truly unsure why at this point, last night after we ate seen a migraine come in out of nowhere which have also been on the rise lately, however in the blink of an eye I am back up at 230am and mad as fuck ready to go to war with any and everyone. This is the most unpredictable part of this bullshit and what makes planning so fucking hard since there would have been no reason for anything to change and I truly should’ve kept the energy and vibe going.
The unpredictability is the biggest pain in the ass but also the scariest of all that we deal with since we just never know who is waking up and truly sometimes I still don’t know where I am, like this morning was a very confusing start not something we again have seen in awhile, and everything in me says to stay away from lives, blogs, and humanity however I said the other day no more excuses and this is what I meant! I was never one to sit back no matter the choices in life the show must go on they say and this is what I have been forgetting until days like today where I just don’t feel it today, to me though this is the easy way out and I’m done with that. We gave set out to create a community and god dam it this is what will happen with consistency, and proper discussions and helping people better understand the Daily Struggles ironically which is something I have been leaving out and need to get back to if this is at all possible which generally once things go they stay that way so I am scared I will fail at the task at hand, truly many nights like tonight and I’ll need down time again just to fatigued to continue.
The volatility of our situation truly can’t be appreciated until you see just how this all affects us, and I use us since Michelle is already dreading waking up because at 230 I was full in evil and harsh not to her just in explaining the situation, and she knows if my mindset doesn’t change it’ll be a long angry day that nobody asked for and truly neither of us wanted this close to last week and all its angry offerings, so in my mind anyway enough is enough I never did enjoy being angry and I truly hate it now as it has no place in my life but unfortunately it seems to love me more then life itself and just pops in for a visit unannounced and takes right over in my head and dictates every move of the day. So for those again that are naysayers fuck you and yes fans I see you following along to see when the time comes your right, well please hold your breath and turn as blue as a berry you cunt serves you right for running your gums, analytics are the best. This last portion isn’t what I want to add but I have to it’s one of those things I just can’t let go especially on days like this as I am now better but tired already and have been since I got up and sadly 230 was the third time i had been up since 830pm, so what would you doing your days, weeks, months, hours, and minutes were all dictated by a brain that likes to set snares and fuck you all up, times when nothing seems to work to make things better if you will, how is it you would cope? Do you think you could do better with pills, doctors, supplements, or do you think we are doing the best we can with what we have to deal with? Truly this question can only be answered by those who have spent time with us as we know full well “today is the best day of the rest of my life” Gary “Big Daddy” Goodridge quote that hasn’t left me since I first heard it from him and not the interview he did where I again heard it. So let’s see if I can run through the day chin down hands up fighting every step to make it a different way then it could have been, thank you all for following along and see you at 2pm Eastern live on the Book.

Some More Things Most Don’t See.

 

Top Dress And LST.

Top Dress And LST.

 

Well today finally came and it was a little more nerve wracking then I had anticipated, not entirely sure why other then doing something for the first time and not wanting to look like a fool or kill our plants in the process which wouldn’t be good at all. Why today was chosen was simple as stated in the video the living soil comes with enough nutrients for approximately a month, and the top dress are slow release taking up to a week make their way into the soil and roots hopefully overlapping with the soil to continue to deliver proper nutrients to the plants.
We chose this midway point so to speak as we reached out to Gaia Green and they are the ones that not only confirmed we should PH our water but also reminded me of the 4 weeks, then I figured out our own timeline which was taken as a hopeful 9 week seed to harvest as this should allow us to run out of nutrients in the 9th week and fingers crossed we chose right. Gaia gave us a parameter and even said we may have to top dress twice depending on the actual cycle this certainly isn’t my intention to push off that long therefore fingers crossed we hit it, and if not we will adjustment grow as part of the learning curve.
The other anxiety I had was Low Stress Training which added more stress to me as I was worried I would be to rough, look for that little bit extra rather then being content with how ever it turned out. The hope most certainly is next time to get more confident and understand just how far they can bend without going to far, I was going to brush up on videos however it’s time to begin our own routine I new it needed to be done and did it my way lol but really finding the feel is the hardest.
My thoughts are also that this is helping the emotions of the day both good and bad but it is an exciting time to see what decided to grow doing its thing and being able to learn new things and expand my mind even though I will forget the next time exactly how I did it this time we have set some safeguards in place to make it easier to replicate each time, thank you all for following along in our first ever grow as we make all the mistakes any novice grower does all the while sharing with the world. Have a great day all see you soon.

The Day The Talking Stopped.

 

 

The Right Education Is Needed.

The Right Education Is Needed.

Well here we gone day new way, let’s begin the day with some education shall we, some in why we are here and how wrong the vast majority of you “Marijuana Experts” are Indica to Sleep Sativa to Rise is WRONG ALL WRONG see today we begin to walk back in time to the origins for you know it alls out there. This morning again I found myself involved in this mundane discussion that Indica works one way and Sativa the other, how in the fuck do we change this mentality the one that created the almighty pill epidemic we are still seeing kill people each day, how do we change it so we can then give the proper information about strains and effects, when is time all you fucking ego maniacs drop your shit and educate yourselves to avoid anymore misinformation?
I am tired of people wasting others time with their lack of knowledge, some suggesting you must find the highest THC possible and my question is as always how in the fuck do you know the THC content and I get an article from leafly or wikileaf that shows a content sadly not the current crop I bought how do you know the exact content in every grow? Long story short you don’t it’s that simple, since not every crop is tested results are outdated and generalized and as I say all the time EVOLUTION plays a factor. Those that believe the Afghan, Hindu, Congo, and others are still the exact same are wrong, the world has changed the contaminates, air, animals, humans, all has changed making it impossible for them to stay the same as well, I know the vast majority hate being told they’re wrong especially when they ripped and read every article ever published saying this and now they puke it all back up on people like they went to school for it or invented pot themselves.
I say it all the time I am not an expert on YOU I simply say we deal with Anxiety, Depression, Parkinson’s, Dementia, Sleep Issues, Eating Issues, OCD, and more with the help of weed, pot, marijuana, ganja, fire, hippy hay, or whatever else you know weed by and nothing else I don’t use pills of any kind unless we made then for microdosing and technically they’re not pills. I also say what I discuss is a guideline as we are all different and have different needs just like the way we perceive life, minerals and nutrients, jobs, education, hobbies, weed is no different and it pisses me off that we must all fit under your little tiny umbrella just because someone says so for me Indica is up and Sativa is down totally opposite and I am not the only one in this world that this happens to, however most would have you believe I’m insane and that’s ok with me as my treatment plan is getting better and better the more we understand about Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy and the ways in which my brain reacts to certain strains, I assure you if I followed the herd there’s a chance I have snapped long ago with the paranoia some strains have caused in me bringing on panic attacks all because I had the wrong strain. So as always my advice start small and try all seems the best way to go and work into what works for YOU not anyone else. Thank you all for following along and as always live @2pm Eastern only on Facebook have a great day.

Afghan Kush The Original.

The Dreaded 1 Year Anniversary Of Sorts.

The Dreaded 1 Year Anniversary Of Sorts.

 

Well this past week has been a wild ride to say the very least, from hitting my head to it being a year since I almost took my own life, and what a ride it’s been we have won and we most certainly have lost so let’s see how it stacks up shall we.
There was no where in my imagination that I anticipated wanting to end my life a year ago, or the year before which wasn’t as grandiose none the less this year there was no attempt simply alot of thought and if I could remember it likely was very similar to last year, useless, worthless, retarded, stupid, not worth living, just to name a few thoughts as I am sure most in similar positions feel and think. What’s different this year Psychedelics long and short of it all and although I didn’t microdose I was prepared just in case, and what I mean by this is I was never one to jump and take a pill just because and I treat the way I dose the same, I know roughly the uptake time therefore it gives me the ability at this point to self medicate properly, by not taking 1 every 5 fucking minutes like alot with the pills and shit. When we began this quest of microdosing we weren’t even sure it would work for my brain however it does and unlike my original thoughts of having to take it daily as I said it takes about 15 to 20 mins for me to begin to feel different and from there a total mellowing along with some extra bong rips and life seems to make more sense.
This is a win of sorts and sadly it took almost losing my life to get to this point and again this is something I say alot my way isn’t for everyone big balls and broad shoulders is needed and a sense of yourself. I am optimistic that I will now begin to bounce back faster then last year since I’m not in as low of a spot, I am happy that we have a way to combat these issues now and that I’m not a lemming like most and I do my own shit as hard as it is it leaves me junkie free, and with the ability to know whether or not to know everything is fighting the same disease instead of side effects and yes I know your saying this guys full of shit, well considering I can’t remember the vast majority of anything I’d say we aren’t winning all the way around but we have enough small wins to keep going and make this year better then last Covid or not.
The nasty thing about this is depression and anxiety are constants as well as fatigue things I fight everyday whether it’s trying to stay busy or leaning on something to stay awake as we have a stop to napping that was not only fucking my sleep up worse but taking up anywhere from 1 to 4 hours a day, and not that I have alot more going on but I’m not 5 anymore either and naps aren’t my thing. We have been able to monitor my angry explosions better being able to tell when a bad ones coming, my dogs more mature and he to can sense a bad day much better then before, so not all wins but certainly more wins then loses this past year and it’s my hope to not ever repeat last year, however for those of us that know C.T.E. know it’s a ticking time bomb until something happens, but I truly believe what we are doing will be better in the long run and that although I can’t remember fuck all I can be happy and at peace not sure its possible, I do know this quality of life is much better then one that seen me eating scripts at record setting paces, my stomach, liver, kidneys, lungs, heart, and some limbs haven’t felt so good in along time and this is all attributed to what we put in our bodies and another we learned keeping inflammation down goes along way in controlling all of these except memory and maybe it’ll come maybe it won’t either way we are happy this year didn’t see a repeat of last and that we will now move forward making things the way we want them to be since we have downsized platforms getting rid of Twitter and Instagram and focusing more on the site, YouTube, and Facebook to make things better then they were and currently are for everyone’s experience here. Thank you all for following and supporting us during this trial year of finding and honing the best treatment possible for the suspect demon eating my brain. See you all @2pm Eastern for a fun live.

Fuck You Today!!

 

Where Have I Been?

Where Have I Been?

 

Well yet another life lesson needed to be learned I guess, since last I came out of my shell so to speak not a lot has happened but enough to kick me down again here’s the what not in it for those new since even we haven’t seen this is about 2 years at least to this point.
Well as the story goes I was watering the plants and hit my head on the light and this ones got a good solid corner on it for just such an occasion, now some of you are thinking and what? Well as you seen I disappeared without a trace as the first morning I woke up angry and not just holy shit it’s a new day, more like let’s start a fucking kill list of mother fuckers I hate kind of anger, this was also accompanied with the worst confusion of my life and made for a very tough day. I had and still do have an immense amount of pressure in my head and worse yet I hit it again last night so here we are today and why am i writing today, good question.
Today finds me stuttering, forgetting entire conversations as fast as they happen, last night never happened, and days before who knows I sure as fuck don’t, and this is where is becomes frustrating as fuck since we can’t make plans as you see I had an entire month planned and now I am not sure where I go since I am not sure this time how long these effects will last, yes this time since the last time seemed to be done in a day however I didn’t actually hit my head that time. Let’s set the stage Michelle and I were horsing around when we first got together and she jumped on me and over we fell nothing serious and I truly never gave it much thought until the next day when I woke up goofy, and then paranoid we likened the situation to Dementia Paranoia from what we read, how I acted, because I didn’t know Michelle the next day it was the weirdest thing and prior to that hits made me just forget one maybe two days, I would function normally but have zero memory of what happened in the previous 24 to 48 hours.
I have made the decision to suspend lives until I can actually speak properly not stutter, stammer, forget simple words, it’s my hope this and the new found anger doesn’t last long since it isolates me more then need be as I will not answer anyone until I’m done being so goofy, even writing this is a chore today since the first hot was above my left eye and its been a weird double visions filled cunt for the most part making this tiny screen a fuck to see and my spelling is shit regardless and I have to keep back spacing and restarting, it’s a piss off more then anything. We have been building our education for the last while with some amazing people joining the page and group also supporting so much of our social media platform, that I felt compelled to write about it and I was going to yesterday but just wasn’t ready.
The other part of the piss of came when again we lost 3 more seeds neither the Blueberry, Amnesia Haze, nor OG showed signs of life and I snapped then since I truly believe we have photos wrapped up as autos and we fast Fast Fems dubbed autos again a feeling but none the less 7 days and nothing off of a seed when the ones growing are getting bigger by the day, way to much fucking variation for me so my ego took a huge hit at that moment as well since it seems like nothing but mistakes being made costing precious time and money and truly autos should be alot easier then these seem to be, I hate being wrong but can admit maybe we should’ve went with a tried and true seed bank like Barney’s, Humboldt, Royal Queen, or many others but live and learn.
I feel as though I will be doing this for the foreseeable future and it sucks as we now have another wrench in the system and I’m not so impressed but how do we now treat this so we can move forward with any sort of life at all, for more then us this is the question but for me I will not be satisfied until we can make plans and get out of the house, since putting off lives and not blogging is one thing but if we were in the real world when this happened someone would’ve had me foaming at the mouth at them reading to smash the fucking teeth out of them and for reason to likely, very reminiscent of when I drank hard liquor all those years ago, saddens me to think I worked so hard to distance myself from that and now I am as crazy sober and hate it since it sort of makes it hard to keep constant contact with anyone, so please understand I appreciate every single one of you but what your seeing is C.T.E. at its finest I am angry, want a cigarette and a case of whiskey and some victims like the tough guys or so they think, the ones who bully the weak these are the ones I want and one day fuckers I will come for you whoever you maybe and the one thing on my mind will be smiling while I fuck you up, thank you all for following and taking time out of your busy day to follow along with our crazy little C.T.E life and I will announce when I will be going live again, but one hit to the head and it’s over again so let’s hope its sooner then later. Have a great day all and really thank you for giving us your time.

How Fragile I Really Am.

People’s Arrogance Isn’t Acceptable.

People’s Arrogance Isn’t Acceptable.

Monday is long regarded as the worst day of the week for many reasons and today I made it someone’s bad day as they insult someone who had made a comment that not only was respectful but right on the money, let me set the stage someone had commented neither Indica nor Sativa matters so much as Terpenes and some dick named Jonny Ritson pipes up with an insult first which would he ok but he was dead wrong and just being a typical read and rip fucking asshole with no true knowledge of pot. I read his comment and clapped back quick and his vagina began to weep as I was a bigger fucking asshole then he was, now some would say ignore it well fuck you I say because we can’t properly educate people with fucking assholes like this twat smelling Peter puffer.
There are so many god dam misconceptions out there more now then ever it would appear with everyone reading the latest bullshit article or the latest big star pod cast and just because they read or hear must make it fucking true after since nobody can be wrong these days right? Well we rely on our knowledge and have DECADES for those just tuning in and the first part of it was flowing like a dummy blindly behind the masses about what should and shouldn’t work, never taking my OWN INDIVIDUALITY into account, oxymoronic it seems as everyone screams they are just so different then the rest but flock like bird shit to the latest batch of bullshit and then shattered when it doesn’t work the same for you must be you and your a whatever bad shit word you can come up with rather then educating yourself on your god dam self, what I mean is what I always say just because I share with everyone what works for me DOES NOT MEAN IT WILL BE THE SAME FOR YOU!!!! I present a guideline for people suffering similar to us from dementia, Parkinson’s, anger, depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, eating disorders, and the list goes on with mental health issues we deal with and not again that this is for everyone, but most forget your pills aren’t for everyone either therefore if this is your thoughts chances are your in the wrong place, this is for open minded intelligent people looking for the right answers as you see I am edgy on a calm day but please if you want respect know what it is and give it, we are all capable of learning we have 2 ears and 2 mouth for a reason I decided along time ago I didn’t know it all but I most certainly not allow anyone to talk to me like I’m fucking stupid or less then nor would I sit back and watch it either as there is no need to be a cunt so just don’t.
The truth is I hate getting angry and calling someone out for something that could’ve been handled better with more respect and understanding that he didn’t know all as I didn’t and still don’t I have much to learn and much to pass on as we figure this nasty shit out one day at a time and with he help of pot and psychedelics in our understanding and education on how it affects us alone and share with those who listen. Today is busier the it has been in along time and I am more tired then I have been in along time but I have shit to do and live at 10am on Instagram and 2pm on Facebook both Eastern and coming faster then expected as I fucked in to much time this morning and am now running behind some so thank you all for following along, and remember don’t be a cunt we are all on a knowledge quest so be fucking nice, have a great fucking day seems the swing from warm to cold to snow to rain in a little while have my brain tight and a touch grumpy, see you all soon.

The Time For Talk Is Done…Grow Time Is Upon Us.

Changing The Way Things Go.

Changing The Way Things Go.

Well I have noticed my lives getting old and stale and had been planning to go back to the way it used to be and Monday we do just that and this to me is a better way to do things as I can’t run shit from the hip like I used to and need a more structured show, I will leave Friday as the Free For All Show as some don’t see all if the shows and have questions come the end of the week. I used to read and research more then I do now and really want to get back to it as it does bring more to my lives and I am also tired if asking for ideas and involvement and hearing crickets so my show my way, I want to make this a success and a community and I open it up everywhere for people to ask and a personal side of this disease and how we treat it but most sit back so I will now again take the wheel so to speak and dictate the shows and hopefully that generates involvement, see as most come to learn numbers mean shit I have done more lives with no viewers then anyone else on Facebook and we do this for others like us to see they’re not alone.
So beginning tomorrow I will have a structured show with topic and the whole 9 I will put an hours worth together and see from there, but let’s not forget tomorrow also brings about our first Instagram live in along time now this one is going to be more fun sesh oriented wake and bake style to start and see where it goes from there, plus I will be adding a straight review to YouTube, as I feel stronger and more energetic we now expand what I do and it gets done. We know staying busy is the key especially in those troubled times so we will now create a bigger community if this is possible.
The whole point of what we do is Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy education and how we treat since there is no treatment to speak of since there is no diagnosis, I am not smarter then your average person my balls are just bigger and I do this the way I do because I always said no matter what I got I wouldn’t do it the big pharma way, I have been called everything from a fraud to a junkie by those closest to me and here I sit hands up chin down fighting the symptoms of what we see and suspecting C.T.E. the entire time however I will never know as the only true way to know is when the filet my brain after I am dead, seems crazy I will be the only one that never knows why my brain became so fucking angry and backwards and to make it this summer and continue to grow we need to diversify and are adding a podcast come May dealing with a whole other subject matter therefore we have a ton of planning to do and it started yesterday and will continue today as I gear up for a double live day something I haven’t done in forever but I am excited to see more folks and have them involved. So hang on to your tits as we come alive for the Summer of 2020 and hopefully kick Winter 2020 square in the cock and have our way with it this year, thank you all for following along and this weekend is about making the message alot better. Have a great day all and see you on Instagram @10am Eastern and Facebook @2pm.

 

Someday’s I Have No Idea Why.

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